


Remedy (original version)

by Skyshadow3246, Wolfloner



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Bottom Tony Stark, Canon-Typical Violence, Dacryphilia, Dom Loki (Marvel), Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good BDSM Etiquette, Hand Jobs, Kink Negotiation, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Masochism, Painplay, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Sadism, Safeword Use, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sub Tony Stark, Subspace, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Top Loki (Marvel), it's only science if you write it down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 23:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16439162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyshadow3246/pseuds/Skyshadow3246, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner
Summary: Re-uploading this for the handful of people who seemed to enjoy it. No longer canon to the FBiNS storyline.Fenrir and Váli were snarling and snapping at each other, and Tony was pretty sure the only thing keeping them from actually making contact was the bursts of ice that Hel kept tossing at their faces when they got too close to each other. Thankfully she was quick enough to dodge out of the way when one of the wolves turned towards her instead.





	Remedy (original version)

**Author's Note:**

> Re-uploaded at the request of a reader who enjoyed this version. No longer canon-compliant, and the new version will be uploaded...soon! In the next few days, with any luck.
> 
> Uploading the new version will also have a lengthy blog-post attached regarding what's been going on the last month and why I scrapped this work and part of the plotline. :)

_ Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me _

_ And speak but don't pretend I won't defend you anymore you see _

_ It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for you _

_ My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear _

\--Seether,  _ Remedy _

  
  


**Tony**

 

Tony’s mind felt warm and fuzzy and content. He and Loki were stretched out on the couch, Loki having wrapped himself possessively around him, ostensibly watching a movie but he hadn’t been paying any attention to it. His mind wandered aimlessly and he wondered if it were possible to never have to leave the comfort of the couch ever again.

 

“Mr. Stark, there is a situation that needs your immediate attention,” JARVIS’s voice broke through Tony’s idle thoughts.

 

“Oh, fuck me,” he groaned. “What’s wrong?”

 

The movie vanished from the screen and was replaced with a photograph that looked like it had been taken from a phone. Two massive wolves were standing in the streets of New York City, one a dark gray--Fenrir--and the other bright red--Váli. 

 

Cold adrenaline shot through Tony as he jumped to his feet. He turned back to see Loki sitting there looking panicked. “Loki?”

 

“This is bad.”

 

“Yeah, no shit. Váli’s in the middle of New York.”

 

“Oh, yes, that too.”

 

“That too?”

 

Loki finally got to his feet. “I don’t believe it’s likely that Váli will kill indiscriminately. Fenrir, however...” He fell silent.

 

“Ok, great, two really fucking dangerous wolf-gods out there. C’mon, let’s  _ go _ .”

 

“JARVIS! If you haven’t already, alert Peter and Wade.” Loki said.

 

“Already in progress, Sir.”

 

“And keep us apprised on the situation,” Tony included.

 

“I am afraid that will be difficult, Sirs, as Ms. Lokadóttir has left the phone behind.”

 

Loki swore and grabbed Tony’s arm, teleporting them to the Hel’s location. They rematerialized right as Steve and Bucky came running onto the scene.

 

“There’s  _ two _ ? What the hell?” Bucky said, taking in the scene in front of them.

 

Fenrir and Váli were snarling and snapping at each other, and Tony was pretty sure the only thing keeping them from actually making contact was the bursts of ice that Hel kept tossing at their faces when they got too close to each other. Thankfully she was quick enough to dodge out of the way when one of the wolves turned towards her instead.

 

“Bucky,” Steve was speaking in his best Captain America voice. “Since we’re unarmed, you and I are on crowd control and getting civilians as far from here as possible.” 

 

Tony watched the immediate shift in Bucky’s stance as he took in Steve’s orders. “Got it,” he replied quickly.

 

“Loki--” Steve started.

 

“Save it.” Loki said, and in a flurry of green and gold he had donned his armor and rushed towards his children.

 

Steve let out a tense breath. “Tony-- Why are  _ you _ unarmed, Stark?”

 

Tony grinned, “I’m never unarmed, Cap.” With a quick--and hopefully difficult to replicate--series of taps to the Arc Reactor, the Iron Man Mark L bled free from it’s containment and swiftly covered his body. Steve just looked dumbfounded, “Nanotech is pretty cool, right?”

 

Steve just scowled, “You’re on air-to-ground support, Tony!”

 

“Aye, aye, Cap!” 

 

Tony was airborne and trying to get a handle on the situation when he heard Loki snarl, “Don’t you fucking shoot my children.” He looked down to see that Bucky had  _ somehow _ (hopefully peacefully) commandeered a pistol from a cop. However Bucky replied Loki seemed to accept it and returned his attention to the matter at hand.

  
  


**Peter**

 

Karen had interrupted their dinner with word of “Giant Wolves” in The Bronx. Despite having spent the last day in the company of one giant wolf, the idea of two of them running around was dizzying. 

 

Of course, Wade didn’t share his own sense of anxiety about facing off against not one, but two gods. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Wade suit up so quickly. “Hey Karen, is there anything extra we should bring?”

 

“Like what?” Peter asked as he activated his suit, the vacuum pulling it tight to his skin.

 

“I don’t know, I’ve never fought a god before, Pete.”

 

“Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are both unarmed.”

 

“Cool,” Wade grabbed two extra guns from his duffle bag. “Alright, let’s ride!”

 

Usually when Wade shifted to Deadpool it was  _ sudden _ and would send his Senses screeching in panic. But this time, for some reason, it was like he could feel the gradual shift as Wade clung to him as they swung across the city. Peter wondered if it was the situation, or if maybe he was just getting better at reading Wade.

 

His curiosity on the matter had to be set to the side as they dropped into the fight. “Which one’s the bad guy?” He called out, needing clarification as Fenrir grasped a moving car--with a family inside--in his jaws and threw it at the smaller wolf.

 

“Neither of them are bad!” Loki yelled as Peter webbed up the car between two buildings and leapt up to help get the family to safety. 

 

From his position Peter could see Wadepool passing off the two guns he’d brought to Bucky and Steve, before turning to face the wolves himself.

 

“Good doggy,” Peter said. “You’re looking a little  _ ruff _ around the edges. But don’t worry, this should only be a little uncom _ fur _ table!” He called, aiming a web at the red wolf’s face. He heard Tony sigh. Apparently their comms were on.  _ Oops _ .  A burst of fire covered where the webbing had caught in it’s fur, and it burned away instantly. “Oh sh-”

 

Gunfire rang out, and he could see the wolf flinch back as the bullet shot through its front leg.  _ Of course _ it was Deadpool that shot it. 

 

Peter hit the ground and had to cover his ears from the sheer volume of the frightening noises coming from Loki and his Giant children. “Buffers on, buffer ons!”

 

“Your sense deadeners have been activated, Peter.” Karen’s voice sounded far away. Good, that was much better.

 

He got back to his feet in time to see the red wolf break away from Hel, Fenrir and Loki and rush Deadpool. Deadpool landed a second shot in the leg before he was pinned under its giant paw.

 

“Bad dog, BAD DOG!” Peter yelled before a flash of white light covered Deadpool. Peter shot a Taser Web at the wolf, but it was barely fazed. It’s black eyes flashed white as its gaze locked onto Peter.

 

Whatever it was knocked him back to the ground. Something about it felt oddly familiar but he couldn’t place it. As soon as he was able to shake it off he ran towards Deadpool’s side. “Deadpool, you ok?”

 

Deadpool had recovered first, and it took a second for Peter to realize he was training a gun on him. A second too long for him to react. He  _ felt _ the intense burn lance through his shoulder before he heard the gunshot. Despite being in what Peter firmly put in his top three of “worst pain imaginable” he threw himself to the side when Deadpool cocked the gun again. The second and third bullets missed, but not by as much as Peter would have liked. 

 

“Deadpool, what the fuck?” He yelled.

 

Bullet four grazed his side. He knew Deadpool was a good shot, but  _ fuck _ . Using his good arm he was able to web the gun out of Deadpool’s grip, but it was immediately replaced by a new one.

 

“Peter, get the hell out of there!” Tony was yelling at him through the comms. “We can handle Deadpool!”

 

There was no way Peter was going to let that happen. 

 

He came aware that Deadpool was  _ silent _ as he stalked towards Peter, seeming undeterred by how easily Peter was ripping his weapons away from him. Although it was hard to tell under his mask, Peter was pretty sure Deadpool’s face was expressionless. He was fighting to  _ kill _ .

 

_ Váli’s curse _ ? Peter wondered. Was the red wolf Váli? That would make sense, and would explain how familiar the white light had felt.

 

He chanced a glance away from Deadpool to look for Loki, but he had his hands full blocking a chunk of asphalt from flattening Steve. 

 

Deadpool had taken his moment of distraction to unsheath a katana and he  _ almost _ managed to skewer Peter, who just barely dropped out of the way. “Sorry, DP!” Peter called before jumping up swinging, aiming his punch for Deadpool’s jaw. It had the desired effect, and was down--knocked out.

 

But Peter had seen Deadpool wake up from getting shot in the head within minutes, so he doubted having his brain sloshed around his skull would keep him down for very long. “I got him!” He assured Tony as he webbed Deadpool as well as he could with one arm before throwing him up to stick towards the top of a nearby building. “I’m uh…” He blinked. “I’ve lost a bit of blood, so I’m gonna tap out,” he explained, feeling increasingly woozy. “I’ll… I’ll be nearby.” Hoping he wouldn’t actually pass out himself, Peter scaled the building he’d attached Deadpool to and collapsed on the roof.

 

“Hey, Karen, could my webbing work as emergency packing?”

 

“I wouldn’t advise it, Peter.”

 

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

 

“There are three emergency rooms and--”

 

“Nope.” Peter grimaced. “How would I explain this to a doctor?”

 

“You could just explain that you were shot?” Karen suggested.

 

Peter huffed, “Would using the webbing kill me?”

 

There was a pause. “No.”

 

“Ok, cool, that’s what I’m going to do, then.” For good measure he also did his best to web up something of a cast to keep what  _ had _ to be broken bones from moving around too much.

  
  


**Tony**

 

Tony  _ knew _ getting Peter and Deadpool involved was a terrible idea! He was only slightly relieved when he heard Peter telling him that he’d neutralized Deadpool and that he was tapping out. That was one less plate he had to keep spinning.

 

Unlike the roosters, Váli was completely unphased by his Grapple Chains, and had even melted the two that he hadn’t been able to just shake off. Loki, Hel, and Fenrir weren’t faring much better. Having to fight while trying not to injure him was greatly limiting their abilities. The only good thing he could say was that Fenrir was so focused on Váli that he was no longer interested in anything else.

 

It also looked like Steve and Bucky were doing a good job clearing out civilians, and keeping them away. There was a small crowd of people with no sense of self-preservation that kept trying to get closer to take pictures with their phones that seemed to be giving Bucky some trouble. 

 

“What part of “everything is on fire” are you people struggling with?” He heard Bucky bark at them. 

 

Tony turned back to the fight, relatively confident that they had the situation under control. He caught sight of Hel jumping up and punching Váli across the face, which only seemed to piss him off more.

 

He noticed Loki tensing before he caught  _ why _ . “Meteorological disturbances registering nearby, Sir.” JARVIS informed him just before a crash of lightning and thunder struck the ground.

 

Tony swore, certain that now they were going to have to deal with Thor entering the fray as well. But when the light faded Thor was nowhere to be found, and instead stood a woman with a golden feathered cloak. Although she moved towards the battle, it didn’t look as if she was interested in harming Váli.

 

She was able to shift around the battlefield as easily as Loki, except that she left flashes of gold in her wake. It took Tony a moment to realize she was moving in a roughly spiral rotation around Váli, and that as she got closer and closer he was starting to slow down. He was growling and snarling and seemed to only be able to pay attention to the woman as she advanced on him. 

 

He flew in closer, trying to get some idea of what she could possibly be doing. Magic, by the look of the golden haze that flowed around her hands. Once she was close enough to touch him, the effect was instantaneous. His form shrank and his fur receded into his body. Tony cringed and glanced away, he was never going to be ok with watching shapeshifting. 

 

When he looked back, her hand was on the shoulder of a young boy who looked no older than 8. He had long tangled red hair and black eyes and had never stopped snarling and growling. Tony had never seen something that looked human so full of rage.

 

Suddenly Peter was yelling through their comms, “Mr. Stark, he’s doing something!”

 

The same flash of white light that had struck Peter and Wade appeared, now aimed at Loki. Without thinking, Tony let the suit  _ drop _ , placing himself between Loki and Váli, and intercepting the spell. Later he would claim that he knew the team could better handle taking him down than trying to fight Loki.

 

He wasn’t sure what to expect, but it hadn’t been a feeling of warmth and for everything to briefly turned a shade of light blue. He blinked and looked back in time to see Váli lunge at the woman who had apparently been watching Loki and him. He ripped the cloak away from her and disappeared in a burst of golden feathers.

 

Tony could hear Fenrir swearing up a storm. Hel just looked defeated. Loki ran forward and helped pull him to his feet, looking amazing. “Are you alright?”

 

After lifting his faceplate, Tony nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” He was still looking sideways at the stranger who had fallen to her knees, sobbing. “Is she, though?”

 

Loki looked past him and went pale. “How?” He whispered, taking a step forward. Tony barely heard Loki say, “Sigyn?” before dashing over to her. He recognized the name from somewhere but couldn’t place it.

 

As soon as Loki crouched down in front of her she grabbed onto the front of his armor and buried her face against his chest, shaking with the force of her grief. As Tony stepped closer he could hear her apologizing over and over. She was sorry that Váli snatched the cloak from her. Sorry that she had caused them to lose their son,  _ again _ . 

 

Tony’s blood ran cold as he watched Loki hold and comfort her. He was pretty sure his heart just stopped as she leaned up and kissed him, only for Loki for to return the affection with too much passion to be anything other than lovers. His ears were ringing too loudly to understand what she said to Fenrir that lead to him flopping down next to her, tongue lolling out and panting, seeming far calmer than Tony had yet seen him. He watched as she gained her feet and pulled Hel into a hug, pulling her down so that she could kiss Hel’s cheeks.

 

He saw but didn’t really process as Peter jumped down from the building with a barely-lucid Deadpool. He glanced to the side and watched Steve and Bucky still trying to corral the general public, who seemed even  _ more _ courageous now that the obvious danger had passed. Loki must have healed Peter’s injuries, since he was carefully moving his arm, testing its range of motion. Tony was able to focus just enough as Loki freed Deadpool from Váli’s curse to recognize that as a good sign. Hopefully that meant he’d have a good chance at helping Váli.

 

Tony snapped out of his fugue state when Loki started towards him, looking concerned. He knew as soon as the numbness wore off he was likely to do or say something he’d regret, and he’d do it publically. Without a word he snapped his faceplate back down and flew off back to the tower.

 

Once safely back in his penthouse Tony tapped a different sequence against his Arc Reactor, signalling his armor to retreat back into containment. Loki had helped him figure out how to manage that, even without Tony telling him what the project actually was. There may or may not have been magic involved, Tony honestly wasn’t sure.

 

He dropped heavily onto the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest. He closed his eyes as the tide of emotions swept him under. He felt betrayed--used. He’d known in the back of his mind, that Loki might (would) toss him aside once he got bored. That it was possible (certain) he was only ever a plaything for Loki to use to pass the time. He’d been worried that Loki would leave (abandon) him as soon as something better (than him) came along, but this was actually so much worse. 

 

Tony reached up and spun the pendant on his collar, something that had quickly become a source of comfort for him whenever he was stressed. But instead of making him feel any better, it just made him feel sick with grief. He grabbed the collar and ripped it away from his neck until the clasp broke, and hurled it into the corner of the room. 

 

He desperately wanted a drink, but for the moment his desire to never move again was outweighing that. He let out a slightly hysterical laugh as he realized he’d eaten that goddamn fucking apple, which meant he was immortal. He was immortal and was going to be  _ alone _ for a very very long time.

 

_ Well, not necessarily _ , his mind provided.  _ I could just  _ take out _ the Reactor and be dead within 2 to 3 minutes _ . Dying that would would probably hurt less than this. And it would have the added benefit of ensuring he wouldn’t have to worry about winding up in Valhalla for eternity.

 

He blinked, realizing that perhaps being alone wasn’t the best course of action right then. He should probably seek someone out. But who? Everyone had  _ told him _ , had  _ warned him _ that Loki was just using him. Nearly everyone he knew could just get in line for a giant “We told you so” extravaganza. But of course he’d ignored everyone, because  _ obviously _ he knew what he was doing.

 

JARVIS’s voice broke through his thoughts, “Sir, Loki is requesting access to the penthouse.”

 

That was weird, Tony thought, since he didn’t need to request access. This was his home too, after all. He could just walk right in. Hell, even if Tony had taken the time to lock it down, he could just teleport in. He’d done it before, that’s how this whole fucking mess started.

 

“Tell him to go fuck himself.”

 

There was a pause. “Shall I use those exact words, Sir?”

 

“Yes.” At least he could entertain himself imagining Loki’s reaction to JARVIS swearing at him.

 

“He wishes to know if you are ok.”

 

He really should have gotten around to giving JARVIS some sort of face to glare at. “I don’t like to repeat myself.”

 

“Mr. Stark,” oh good, JARVIS was frustrated. Why had he created an AI that could even  _ get _ frustrated? “Wouldn’t it be easier to simply--”

 

“No.”

 

“He wishes to explain the situation.”

 

“He’s had over a fucking year to do that!” Tony yelled.

 

“Loki is saying  _ please _ , Sir.”

 

Tony crossed his arms over himself. “Good for him, finally learning some manners.”

 

“I don’t believe he’s going to leave until you let him in.”

 

“Noted,” Tony muttered.

 

It was less than 5 minutes before Tony decided that yelling at Loki would feel a lot better than sitting there wallowing. “Fine. For fucks sake, he can come in.”

 

The door opened slowly, and only enough for Loki to slide through the opening. His movement lacked its usual confidence and bravado, and if Tony didn’t know better, he’d say he almost looked scared.

 

“Tony, I am  _ so _ sorry.”

 

“Sorry you got caught, you mean.”

 

Loki flinched slightly at the words. “That’s fair, I deserve that.”

 

“At least now I know where you keep fucking disappearing off to all the time.”

 

He looked confused, which was just infuriating. “What?”

 

“Did you seriously just come in here to keep lying to me? I don’t think it’s goddamn necessary anymore!” Tony shouted.

 

“No! I’m not, I’m…” He let out a frustrated sigh. “May I have the chance to explain?”

 

“Who is she?”

 

“Sigyn. A Van-- My wife. Váli and Narfi’s mother.”

 

Honestly, Tony had figured out the second part easily enough. What with her calling Váli their son and all. “Your wife.”

 

“Yes.”

 

He narrowed his eyes, “Did she know about me?”

 

“Well, no, but--”

 

Tony stood up and grabbed a paperweight from the coffee table and chucked it as hard as he could at Loki. Loki caught it easily, gingerly setting it to the side. “You are just the lowest sack of shit, do you know that?” Tony growled. “Cheating on your wife?! Making me think that you  _ gave a fuck _ about me? That you might even  _ love _ me?”

 

“I  _ do _ love you!”

 

He didn’t even look as he grabbed his next piece of ammunition and hurled what turned out to be a mug at Loki’s head.

 

Loki caught it as well, and set it down next to the paperweight. “Quit throwing shit at me!”

 

“QUIT LYING!”

 

Loki’s next words were so quiet that Tony had to school his breathing to even have a chance at hearing him. “I’m not lying. You’re my mate--”

 

“Oh, you can fuck right off with that bullshit. You’re  _ married _ .”

 

“I told you that. You  _ knew _ that.”

 

“You kind of failed to mention that she was still alive! Or that you were still  _ with her _ ! Fucking… sneaking out of the Tower to go see her. What the fuck did you tell her you were doing when you’re here?” Tony was rather pleased that he hadn’t started angry crying yet.

 

But Loki just looked dumbfounded. “Tony, you don’t understand--”

 

Tony threw his hands into the air. “Are you-- What could I  _ possibly _ not understand about this?!”

 

Loki’s hands clenched into fists. “I haven’t seen her since Fenrir and Jǫrmungandr freed me from my binding! That was over 500 years ago!” 

 

Tony swallowed as he noticed that Loki  _ was _ crying. He felt his anger falter, just a bit. “Why not?”

 

It looked like Loki made a few attempts to speak before cutting himself off without getting anything out. He was silent for so long that Tony felt a new wave of irritation rise up. 

 

“Damn it, Loki! Stop stalling!”

 

“I’m trying!” Loki insisted.

 

“Well, try harder!”

 

Loki’s expression told him that whatever the reason was, assuming he wasn’t just stalling for time while he tried to formulate a convincing lie, it was incredibly painful to talk about. In all the time he’d known him, he didn’t think he’d ever seen Loki struggle quite this much.

 

“Sigyn also witnessed Narfi’s death,” he eventually managed. “In his madness, Váli tore him apart. Disemboweled him.” Loki had told him that much. Not that Sigyn had been present, but that Narfi had died horrifically. He nodded, waiting for Loki to continue. “I told you I was bound in that cave?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That was true. I was… they… they used…” Loki’s breathing was erratic and far too shallow. His eyes were wide and he was shaking. Tony was no less pissed off, but he was also concerned. Loki was a good actor, but Tony had seen him like this before, and it didn’t feel like acting.

 

“Fuck. Ok. Come here.” He lead Loki over to the couch and helped him sit down. He grabbed him a glass of water before sitting down in the chair opposite him, across from the coffee table. “You’re not getting out of telling me,” he clarified. Loki nodded as he sipped at the water. Tony didn’t push until his breathing started to even back out, and even then he only fixed him with an expectant look.

 

“They--Skaði. She used Narfi’s… remains…”

 

When Loki fell silent against, Tony gently prompted, “Used them to what?” He knew there was no possible way for the answer to be anything but horrifically fucked up.

 

“To bind me to the stones there.”

 

“What the fuck?” Tony said before he could stop himself. Part of him wondered  _ how _ , but he quickly decided that it was probably magic and to just leave it at that. “That’s--”

 

“There’s more,” Loki whispered.

 

“Jesus, how? How could it possibly get worse?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But he still wanted Loki to tell him. So, rock, meet hard place.

 

“Skaði brought in a serpent.” Tony didn’t like where this was going at all. “She placed him on a rock up above me, and cast a spell that caused his fangs to constantly drip venom onto my face--into my eyes.”

 

Tony cringed at the thought. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what Loki had gone through. “I’m sorry,” he offered lamely.

 

Loki looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since the story started. “Sigyn stayed with me. She couldn’t free me, but she was able to fashion a bowl from the stone. She used it to give me as much of a reprieve from the torture as she could.”

 

“You don’t know how long?”

 

He shook his head. “No. We couldn’t see sky to judge the passage of time. Everything just bled together into periods of pain and… less pain.”

 

Tony let out a long breath. “And after Fenrir and Jǫrmungandr freed you?”

 

Loki looked a bit surprised to hear Tony correctly pronounce Jǫrmungandr’s name. And maybe he’d practiced it a little, what of it?

 

“Odin tore our family apart. As far as we knew, both of our sons were dead. He had locked away the rest of my children. It was so much…”

 

“So, what? You split up?” He asked, frowning.

 

“Not how you’re meaning it, no.”

 

“Then?”

 

“We didn’t love each other any less, but we needed space. Time.”

 

“You still love her.”

 

It wasn’t a question, but Loki answered it anyway. “Yes.”

 

“And you also love me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Tony closed his eyes, trying to wrap his head around things. Trying to figure out if Loki was being honest or not. “Where do you go, when you leave?”

 

It was a few moments before Loki answered. “It depends. Primarily I visit Asgard-That-Was.”

 

He opened his eyes, confused. “Why?”

 

“Hela and Surtr are gone. Slowly the fires recede. I go and look for anything salvageable.” He paused. “I got to see if it might be possible to rebuild my home.”

 

“Do you need help?”

 

“Are you offering, or just asking?”

 

Tony shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

 

“I wouldn’t be averse to your help, but I am also quite capable of continuing to manage on my own.”

 

The brunt of Tony’s rage had dissipated, leaving him feeling largely exhausted, but no less hurt. “Thanks for explaining the situation to me.” He sunk back into the chair. He’d still just been a distraction. A loved distraction, perhaps, but still. Sigyn had returned, Váli was still alive, and saving him seemed to be within their grasp. Fenrir and Hel were even free. He didn’t know anything about Jǫrmungandr or… what had the horse’s name been? Sleipnir? That sounded right. Hopefully they were fine, too.

 

He stared up at the ceiling. “I’ll still help save Váli, of course. If you want me too.” He wanted to be anywhere but there, but his conversation had to happen.

 

“I… of course I still want you to.”

 

Tony nodded, angry at the hot tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He refused to blink and give them the chance. “I’ll miss you.”

 

“You want me to go?” Loki’s voice sounded broken.

 

Fuck him. Was he really going to make Tony be the one to say it? Did it really  _ have _ to be said? “Don’t be cruel,” he bit.

 

“I’m not trying to be. I don’t understand.”

 

What the hell was there to misunderstand? “She’s your wife.”

 

“And you’re my mate.”

 

Tony pushed himself forward in the chair as a new wave of anger returned. “Stop that. Stop saying that like it’s fucking comparable, Loki. I get it. What we had was fun. But we’re not… I’m not…”

 

Loki did honestly looked confused. “Not what?”

 

Despite his best efforts, Tony couldn’t quite stop the tears. He hated everything about them. Hated how weak it made him look. Like he needed to look any weaker. “I’m not anything! I’m just a fucking human! If not now, eventually you were going to get bored of me anyway. I’m not  _ made _ to live for thousands of years. I hate it when I have to be away from you for a week. I’d go fucking insane if we were apart for hundreds of years. So stop calling me your fucking  _ mate _ like we’re anything close to equal!”

 

Loki blinked, stunned at his outburst. “Say that again?”

 

“Say what?”

 

“What you hear when I say  _ mate _ .”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Humor me?” Loki asked.

 

“Mate. I hear the word “mate”. What else would I hear?

 

Loki looked further confused before something like realization crossed his features. “Oh. I’m not actually saying the word “mate”. That’s just how the AllSpeak is translating it for you.”

 

That was all it took for Tony’s curiosity to get the better of him. “Then what the fuck are you saying?”

 

“ _ Atrëlv. _ ”

 

“ _ Atrëlv _ ?” It felt strange on his tongue.

 

Loki was smiling at how easily Tony was able to reproduce the word. “Yes!”

 

“What does it mean?”

 

“It’s a word heavy with nuance and connotation. It’s difficult to translate.”

 

Tony crossed his arms. “Try.”

 

Loki sat across from him, looking like he was struggling to find the words. “May I touch you?” He asked.

 

“No.” Then, “Maybe. Why?”

 

“I wish to share the AllSpeak with you, so that I can say the word and you understand it fully. Trying to translate it myself… I don’t want there to be more misunderstandings.”

 

That sounded reasonable, Tony decided. Besides, it wasn’t like he was intensely curious about the AllSpeak anyway. He held his hand out across the table, and Loki met it, pressing their palms together. Tony waited while nothing obvious happened. He certainly didn’t feel any different.

 

“Well?” He prompted.

 

“ _ Fyrirgef mik. Ek ann þér. _ ”

 

He heard the words Loki spoke, and they were in a language he definitely didn’t know. But he  _ understood _ them.  _ Fyrirgef mik. Forgive me. _ Not just being sorry, but asking for forgiveness, expressing regret.  _ Ek ann þér. I love you. _ Loki had taught him that phrase before, and the AllSpeak didn’t seem inclined to offer any additional nuance.

 

“I’m still pissed off,” he said, knowing that his words wouldn’t have much of an effect with how amazed he had to look. “But I love you, too.” He didn’t hear or feel anything different as he spoke.

 

Loki was smiling, looking pleased that it had worked.

 

“Say it. I want to understand this apparently complicated word.”

 

“ _ I didn't say it was complicated. I said it was nuanced. _ ”

 

Tony blinked. While he still understood what Loki was saying, he wasn’t hearing English. He thought it might have been the same language he’d heard Loki speak with Fenrir and Hel, actually. “What language is that?”

 

Loki smirked. “ _ Asgardian _ .”

 

“Is that how you’re always speaking?”

 

“ _ No. There are many words in English that don’t have a counterpart in my native tongue. Sometimes I’ll hear something that the AllSpeak fails to translate at all. _ ”

 

Tony opened his mouth to ask more questions before stopping himself. “Stop distracting me. Say  _ Atrëlv _ .”

 

“ _ Atrëlv _ .” Loki’s voice was care and even.

 

And wow, Loki hadn’t been kidding about the word being difficult to translate. It could mean so many things. Significant interpersonal relationships seemed run through the core of it.  _ Partnership, companion, a pair-bond, mates, lovers, spouse, deep platonic friendships _ , and a dozen or more other concepts flitted through his mind as he heard Loki speak the word.

 

Tony frowned, trying to parse it out. “I don’t understand.” At Loki’s concerned expression, he clarified, “It can mean a lot. How the hell do you use a word like that?”

 

Loki’s concern vanished as he relaxed. “ _ If you will still have me, I am your Atrëlv. _ ”

 

Understand dawned on him as Loki spoke. The word fucking  _ relied _ on the AllSpeak to be understood.

 

_ Bonded pair. Lovers. Partners. Shield-brothers. Family. _

 

Tony pulled his hand back. The AllSpeak was fascinating and he wanted to study it, but it had also started giving him a headache. 

 

“Given that it relies on the AllSpeak to function as a word, you’d think the spell could have done a better job translating it for me.” He griped.

 

“I wish I had known how poorly it had done. The AllSpeak relies on the hearer’s perceptions of concepts as it translates.” Loki was back to speaking English. Except probably not actually.

 

“So, then…  _ bonded-pair _ , which would be kind of a weird thing to say in English… It turned that into  _ mate _ ?”

 

“Calling being a bonded-pair is usually used in reference to animals, correct? Is that why you find it distasteful?” 

 

Tony shrugged. “Not so much distasteful as just weird.”

 

A ghost of a smile crossed Loki’s features, “You didn’t mind the word “mate” this morning,” he teased.

 

“Shut up, I’m still upset at you,” he scoffed.

 

“Oh shit.” Tony muttered.

  
“What’s wrong?”

 

“Was Sigyn ok? Váli got really close to her.”

 

Loki nodded, “She was unharmed during the fight.”

 

“But was she ok? She was crying pretty hard.”

 

“She was heartbroken to have finally found Váli, only to lose him again so quickly.”

 

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Loki, did you just fucking leave her there to come after me?”

 

The god looked offended at the accusation. “Of course not. She encouraged me to come after you.”

 

“Where is she now?”

 

“She, Hel, and Fenrir are resting on my floor.”

 

“Your… You mean the floor I stuck you in when you first got here?”

 

“Correct."

 

“You still use it?”

 

Loki gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not really. But it was never otherwise assigned, so it’s still mine.” He paused, considering. “I store some of the things I find in Asgard-That-Was there.”

 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about that?”

 

But Loki’s expression told him why. Loki knew that it was probably a fool’s errand, and seemed embarrassed by his efforts.

 

“Nevermind, it’s fine.”

 

“Would you like to meet her?” Loki asked quietly.

 

“Sigyn?” Tony thought about it. “Does she know about us?”

 

“She knows that we are  _ Atrëlv _ .”

 

Tony sputtered, “You just  _ told her _ that?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Tony had  _ several _ questions. “Are you two also  _ Atrëlv _ ?”

 

Loki nodded. “Yes. It’s a bit different because--”

 

“Because the word is fucked up and relies on magic to get the nuances to work, got it.” Loki smirked as his description. “So, she told you to come after me. I… Does that means she’s cool with this? Us?”

 

Loki seemed genuinely confused by his distress. “Why wouldn’t she be?”

 

“Why?” Tony mouthed. “Is there just a huge fucking cultural thing that I’m missing here?”

 

Loki tilted his head slightly. “I believe so. Neither Asgardian nor Vanir relationships are necessarily monogamous, unless the marriage was intended to secure an ally. And even then, that was typically flexible.”

 

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and took several long breaths. In and out. “I know fuck-all about your culture, don’t I?”

 

At least Loki had the sense to look abashed when Tony looked back up. “I haven’t exactly been forthcoming with information,” he admitted.

 

“No shit. But she doesn’t hate me?”

 

“She doesn’t know you.”

 

“You motherfucker. She doesn’t hate that we’re  _ Atrëlv _ ?”

 

“Ah, no. She doesn’t.”

 

Tony decided that his curiosity was enough to outweigh his exhaustion, at least for the moment. “Then, yeah, I’d like to meet her.”

 

* * *

 

As they stepped into the living room of Loki’s old floor, the first thing Tony noticed was a human-looking Fenrir sprawled out on the couch, snoring softly. Hel, who hadn’t bothered recreating her disguise, was slumped back in a chair, having nodded off by the looks of it.

 

He glanced around until he saw Sigyn at the kitchen table with a mug of what smelled like spiced tea. She stood up as soon as they entered and stepped forward to grab Tony’s hands in a very similar greeting to the one Hel had given him the day before. And  _ holy shit _ so much had happened over the last two days.

 

“Tony, it’s so good to meet you. Are you alright, dear?”

 

Tony was surprised by how much shorter she was than him. He had at least 5 or 6 inches on her, but it gave him a good view of the intricate braids she wore her blonde hair in. “Um, honestly, I’m a bit undecided. But it’s nice to meet you, too.”

 

Sigyn wore a sad smile, “I’m sorry my appearance here upset you.”

 

He gave a half-hearted shrug, “No, it’s ok. It wasn’t your fault.”

 

She glared daggers at Loki, who was standing carefully off to the side of the kitchen. “I know.” Loki looked like he was trying very hard to seem unaffected by her glare, but he wasn’t quite managing it. 

 

Sigyn released Tony’s hands. “I Am Sigyn Freyadóttir, wife to Loki, who has rejected their title and their parentage.”

 

“They rejected me,” Loki corrected bitterly.

 

“Mmm,” she hummed, “but this sounds better. Calling you “Formerly Odinbarn” or “Formerly Heir-Apparent of Asgard” implies something very different than the reality.” Loki just shrugged at that.

 

“Er, sorry. Loki said you two hadn’t seen each other for something like 500 years?”

 

She looked thoughtful, “That sounds about right, yes.”

 

He glanced back at Loki, “But all that “Formerly” stuff happened pretty recently, right? Or at least more recently than 500 years ago?”

 

Loki nodded, his brow knitting together in puzzlement. “Yes… How do you know about all of that?”

 

Sigyn smiled. “Thor told me, of course.”

 

“Thor?” Loki sounded mildly alarmed.

 

“He’s the one who told me about what was happening. That Váli had been found. Or, had found you, I suppose. He briefed me on what he knew of your life, and helped me get here when the fighting started.”

 

“Well,” Tony said, “that’s a hell of an improvement, at least.”

 

“He spoke very highly of you, Tony. He called you a man of iron.”

 

At Tony’s blank expression Loki snorted. “He’s not actually that dumb, Stark. He’s just fucking with you at this point.”

 

Sigyn continued as if they hadn’t interrupted her, “He mentioned that you and my partner were close friends but did not divulge the actual nature of your relationship.”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Thor,” Tony muttered under his breath.

 

“He also failed to mention that you had been gifted one of Iðunn’s Apples, and are capable of magic.”

 

Tony couldn’t get a read on how she felt about the Apple thing, so he latched onto the second. “You can tell I’m capable of magic?”

 

She tilted her head, “I saw you create a powerful ward when you intercepted Váli's curse.”

 

Tony looked back over at Loki, who had come to properly stand near them now that he was part of the conversation. “I did what now?”

 

“Ah, yes, I’d meant to mention it--”

 

“Hmmmm,” Tony hummed in disapproval.

 

Loki sighed, “Would my apologizing again help?” He asked.

 

“Are you actually sorry?”

 

“Of course I am.”

 

Tony held up a hand. “Let me rephrase the question. Are you sorry because I’m upset, or do you actually feel bad for lying to me about all this.”

 

Loki took a moment to thoroughly consider Tony’s question. “I’m sorry for hurting you, and for not recognizing that your perspective on the situation would differ so much from mine as to lead you to believe that I didn’t care about you. My intention was never to mislead you.”

 

“Are you hiding any other big secrets?”

 

“Yes.” Loki said without hesitation.

 

Tony hadn’t expected that answer, though. “What kind of secrets?”

 

Loki crossed his arms over himself, looking away from both of them.

 

“Loki?” Sigyn asked, sounding concerned.

 

“Just the one secret,” Loki said slowly. “And it’s not anything like this was. I’m not keeping important information to myself or anything. I--”

 

Tony caught the look of panic in his eyes. Not unlike he’d had earlier that night. And not unlike a few weeks ago when he’d tried to talk about what lead to New York--Oh.

 

“Loki, stop. It’s ok. You don’t need to talk about it.” Tony insisted carefully.

 

Loki leaned against the wall and slid down it. Sigyn crouched down next to him. “Are you ok, Love?”

 

After a long moment Loki glanced back up at Tony. “You didn’t realize you’d created that ward?”

 

“No. Is that was the warm feeling was?”

 

Loki was smirking, but his amusement didn’t quite reach his eyes. “And after all that fuss you kicked up when you couldn’t get it to work, you don’t even notice when it happens.”

 

Tony pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. “He’s fine.”

 

After a few more moments Loki allowed Sigyn to help him to his feet so that they could sit at the table as well. He was still a bit too pale, but he certainly looked better than he had a few minutes before.

 

“So, uh… Was everyone ok? After I ran off?”

 

Sigyn nodded, “Physically everyone was fine. The child…”

 

“Peter?”

 

“Peter and Wade were both pretty shaken. I don’t think I’ve ever seen either of them so quiet and uncomfortable around each other,” Loki expanded.

 

Tony sighed, “I can’t believe Deadpool shot him.”

 

“He wasn’t himself,” Loki reminded him.

 

“That doesn’t make it much easier to accept.” Tony frowned. “What about the cloak thing that Váli took? What does it do?”

 

Sigyn perked up, able to answer this question. “It allows for travel between Realms, and across great distances with ease.”

 

“What does he need the cloak for? Can’t he just Realm hop like Loki?”

 

“That takes years of practice,” Loki explained. “He’s young and inexperienced.”

 

“And he was panicking. He was as scared as he was angry,” Sigyn said wistfully.

 

“Well, do we have any idea where he’d go? Or could we try to track it?”

 

“Track it?” She asked.

 

“Sure. Its magic must give off some sort of signature, right? If we have a sample from the cloak, we can probably keep an eye out for it, at least on Earth.”

 

Sigyn’s eyes lit up. “Wow, you can do something like that, even without magic?”

 

Tony grinned at her enthusiasm. “I mean, it might take a bit of work, but yeah. It’s manageable.” He glanced over at Loki, “Why don’t you ever act impressed by all the cool shit I do?”

 

“Because it just goes to your head, and you become insufferable.”

 

“So, what I’m hearing is that you think I do incredible stuff all the time but just do say anything?” Loki just rolled his eyes.

 

Sigyn was smiling as she watched their interaction. She waved her hand in the same that Loki did when he was pulling something out of whatever ether he used to store things. She held out a golden feather. “Would this sample be enough?”

 

Tony snatched the feather and jumped to his feet. “Oh yeah! More than enough!” He turned and started towards the elevator.

 

“Where are you going?” Loki asked.

 

“My lab?”

 

Loki looked disapproving. “No you’re not.”

 

Tony stopped to face him, “Excuse me?”

 

“When was the last time you slept?”

 

“Last night.” He ran through the events of the day, “and then again some this morning. I’m good.”

 

Loki sighed, “And then you underwent a dangerous medical procedure and fought a god. You  _ need _ rest.”

 

Not that Tony was about to admit it, but he  _ was _ tired. Exhausted, really. Loki had left out their bought of rough sex and the emotional turmoil of the last hour or so. Maybe he really did need to sleep. But he dreaded the idea of going to bed alone, so. “Look, I’ll just go get this started, and then I’ll crash, ok? Ok.” He turned and all but bolted from the room before Loki could try to stop him again.

  
  


**Sigyn**

 

She watched as the immortal-mortal fled from the room. She glanced to Loki, grief straining at their features. “You want to go after him?”

 

Loki closed their eyes and held their head in their hands. “I fucked everything up.”

 

She reached across the table and let her hand rest on Loki's arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

They looked up. She followed their gaze to watch the sleeping children.

 

“I never think things through,” they admitted. “At least not all the way. It's like I'm fucking incapable of taking all of the variables into account.”

 

She hummed. “I don't believe that's true. You're a very skilled strategist.”

 

“I'm a very skilled manipulator,” they corrected. “I don't want to manipulate him. Or make him think that's what I'm doing.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“I thought I had time, I guess? I never really took into account just how differently we see the world, except for how it affected me.”

 

“Are you trying to say you behaved out of ignorance, rather than malice?”

 

“I acted out of narcissism.”

 

She was quiet. They both knew that Loki had a narcissistic streak a mile wide. But they had been working on it. Apparently it was still a work in progress.

 

“Do you believe he can really find a way to track my cloak?”

 

“Yes,” Loki said without hesitation. “It may take some time, but he'll find a way.” They were smiling fondly, “He really is quite incredible. That suit of his--the Iron Man--he built the prototype in a cave with only scraps. The things he can do with actual resources…”

 

“Is that why Thor called him a man of iron?”

 

Loki laughed, it was the first proper laugh of theirs that she'd heard in hundreds of years. It was nice. “Yes. He finds Stark to be quite trying, I think.” She could tell Loki was angry at their brother.

 

“What did Thor do, to leave you two so upset at him?”

 

“He threatened Váli. He behaved as though he thought I didn't  _ know _ there was the possibility we couldn't save him.”

 

Sigyn frowned as Loki paused.

 

“We tried to intercept Váli in Valhalla. After Asgard’s destruction the only way there was past the Gjǫll.”

 

“So you freed Fenrir?”

 

Loki nodded. “Of course I did. Thor didn't trust that I could keep Fenrir in check.” They frowned. “He turned out to be right, but still.

 

“I am grateful to him for seeking you out.”

 

Sigyn arched an eyebrow, “Are you?”

 

“Of course I am. Setting aside the fact that we were  _ losing _ before you came… I've missed you.”

 

“But not enough to seek me out yourself? Or tell your beloved about me?”

 

She blinked as Loki's expression changed. Where before their emotions had been open and easy to read, suddenly their face was blank, and she couldn't glean anything of what they were thinking.

 

“My heart?”

 

“Seeing you. Thinking about you. I still can't separate  _ you _ from The Cave. I know that's not fair to you, but--”

 

“It's ok,” She spoke softly. “Honestly, it's the same for me.” It wasn't fair to either of them. It wasn't fair  _ for _ either of them. She hated that a small part of her couldn't help but to blame Loki for what had transpired. Of course, she reminded herself, that Odin was truly to blame, but… “You should go to him. Make sure that he's alright.”

 

Loki sighed. “Or at least not a danger to himself.” They stood and made their way towards the door. “You can stay here, if you'd like. In The Tower, I mean. Until we figure out our next move with Váli.” 

 

“That won't be too painful or uncomfortable for you?”

 

They shrugged. “Váli is more important.”

 

She looked over at her sleeping children. “I'll think about it.”

 

Loki nodded before disappearing out the door.

  
  


**Tony**

 

Tony was, in fact, too exhausted to work. He set the feather carefully on the workbench and placed a glass case over it, to keep it safe. He asked JARVIS to start analyzing it to see what, if anything, they could learn about it, before collapsing on the small couch he'd long ago shoved in the back corner of the lab. Maybe he'd take a nap there. That felt less awful.

 

“Hey, Dum-E, would you grab me a drink?” He frowned as the robot brought him a bottle of water. “I was thinking more along the lines of booze, buddy.” Dum-E beeped at him, and he'd swear it sounded concerned. Tony was definitely too tired for this.

 

With a sigh he opened the bottle and took a drink. Stupid robot, not letting him drown his misery without getting up. 

 

He couldn't get his mind to focus on the feather that JARVIS was analyzing. He also couldn't get his brain to just shut up, either. Instead he just kept seeing Loki kissing Sigyn. Kissing his wife. Who he hasn't seen in 500 years. And what might they be doing upstairs? Talking? Fucking? Honestly, knowing Loki, the latter was more likely. 

 

Loki loved him, deeply, apparently. That just made this hurt all the worse. Apparently the gods didn't trend towards monogamy? 

 

His fingers drifted down and pressed on where Loki had burnt his name into his leg. Claiming Tony as his. He had said that he was Tony's as well, a few times.

 

But Loki was Sigyn's, too. That much was obvious from watching them interact. Hundreds of years of being together, raising children together, building a life together. Tony could never compete with that.

 

His chest hurt. He reached up and pressed on the Arc Reactor. Making the pain something he could control. Something physical. He focused on that. Focused on how it made breathing harder. Knowing it was pressing against his lungs, his esophagus, his trachea, his  _ heart _ . It distracted him from everything else, at least for the moment.

 

He pushed harder, until he his eyes were watering from the pain of it, until he was shaking from the lack of oxygen. 

 

He let go and let himself fall to the side, along the cushions of the couch. He gasped as his body screamed for air. 

 

“Ah. Was your plan to “crash” down here, then?”

 

He didn't even have the energy to jump when he heard Loki speak. A rush of cold adrenaline shot through him. How long has he been there? Had he been watching?

 

“Maybe.” He said, petulantly. He could always find the energy for petulance. 

 

He heard footsteps until Loki was in front of him, crouching down until they were more-or-less at eye level with each other.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“To make sure that you're alright.”

 

“I'm not.”

 

“No, I saw that,” he said with a slight frown. “Come to bed, Tony.”

 

Oh good. Loki  _ had _ seen him. “I'm fine right here.”

 

Loki sighed. “I won't join you if you'd prefer I didn't. But we both know you won't get any proper rest on this couch.”

 

Tony blinked. Nothing Loki said had made sense. Well, the couch thing. He was right about that. “What?” He finally asked. 

 

“You always complain after sleeping down here--”

 

“Not about that, asshole. Why would you be joining me?”

 

Loki only looked hurt for a second before he schooled his expression. “As I said, I won't if--”

 

“No. Hang on.” Ok, they were having another communication breakdown. “Don't you want to--” Trying to say it made his stomach roil. “Why aren't you upstairs with Sigyn?”

 

Loki looked confused by his question, but that didn't make sense either. “Because I want to be down here, with you.”

 

_ What? _ “Why?”

 

“Why?” Loki repeated.

 

“Why would you want be with me rather than her?”

 

Confusion was finally replaced with understanding. “Tony, you recall how, two hours ago, I explained,  _ in detail _ , Sigyn's and my shared trauma?”

 

Tony nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“That hasn't gone away. Seeing each other is no less difficult now. Being here, in this situation, doesn't stop it from hurting and dredging up painful memories and feelings.”

 

Tony pushed himself back into a sitting position and glared down at Loki. “I'm not going to just be here for you until you can get past that and go back to your wife, Loki.” Tony swallowed.

 

“That's not what I'm asking of you,” Loki insisted.

 

“Then what happens to me, huh? When you two  _ can  _ fucking stand being around each other again?” His words were harsher than he'd intended. Whatever. 

 

“What do you want to happen?”

 

“I don't know!” He shouted. He didn't want this situation to exist. He wanted Loki to himself. But he would never ask him to leave Sigyn, or ask him to  _ choose _ . He crossed his arms and sank into the back of the couch. He knew what would happen. He'd take whatever scrap of affection that Loki might give him and cherish it, until he was too miserable to keep going and--

 

He was suddenly aware of Loki's hand around his wrists, holding them in front of him. “What the fuck are you doing?” He bit out.

 

“You were pressing on your Reactor again.”

 

He blinked. Had he been? His chest hurt, but it had been hurting anyway. He didn't realize he'd been doing it.

 

“You're exhausted and at your limit,  _ Hýrr _ . Please go to bed and get some proper rest.”

 

He swallowed again, noticing that it was more difficult that time. “You'll sleep too? With me, I mean?”

 

“If you want me to.”

 

He nodded and let Loki pull him to his feet and through the Realm Between Realms to their bedroom.

 

* * *

 

 

When Tony woke the next morning it was to find Loki wrapped around him like a damned octopus. It was comforting and he shifted back to further envelope himself in Loki's warmth and scent.

And then he woke up enough for the events of last night to come crashing back down on him. “Goddamnit,” he breathed.

“What's wrong?” Loki asked, sounding only half awake himself.

Tony elbowed him, not really caring where he connected.

That seemed to wake Loki up, and he sputtered. “The fuck?”

“ _ What's wrong _ ?” Tony asked incredulously.

Loki wrapped his arms around him tighter, not letting Tony try to move away. “Give me a break, you woke me up.”

He couldn't turn to face him, so Tony just glared at the wall instead.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Loki asked hesitantly.

“What's there to talk about?” He kept his voice firm.

“A lot, apparently.” When Tony didn't reply he continued. “If I let you go will you run off again?”

Tony sighed. He couldn't see what good talking would do. But not talking wasn't going to help anything either. “I'll stay.”

When Loki released him he moved away before rolling onto his other side to face Loki. “So, talk.”

Loki took a few seconds before he spoke. “Tell me what you're feeling.”

“What I'm feeling?” 

“Yes, please.”

Tony frowned. What _ was _ he feeling? “Still kind of pissed off,” he started. “I hate that I'm in this situation. That you dragged me into this situation.” Loki just nodded and didn't try to defend himself. “I don't like finding out that I'm the “other woman”, so to speak.” He could see that Loki wanted to comment on that, but wisely decided to stay silent. “And I'm pissed at myself for letting myself feel so vulnerable when this was all some kind of fucking game for you.”

“That's--” Loki stopped himself. “Can I interject?”

“Fine.”

“This was never a game for me, Tony.”

“Bullshit.”

“What?”

Tony sat up. “I'm calling bullshit. Maybe-- _ maybe _ \--it's not now. But at the start of whatever the fuck this is? It was absolutely a fucking game for you.”

Loki stayed laying down, only moving onto his back so he could better watch Tony's face. “That's true,” he admitted. “Initially my intention was… well, to pass the time. Earn your favor while I devised a way to escape. Without either my brother or The Avengers following after me.”

“What changed?”

“I realized I liked you. Being around you. When you, rather unintentionally, gave me the perfect reason to leave… I found that I didn't want to go. I  _ wanted _ to stay, if it meant spending time with you.”

“Perfect reason?” Tony asked. “Are you talking about when I scared the shit out of you with the violet wand?”

“Yes. I thought about leaving. You wouldn't have held it against me. Thor wouldn't have. But then… then I got hit with that spell that shattered my glamour. I knew I couldn't very well run off like that.” 

Tony just stared at him as he spoke.

“And you  _ saw me _ . You didn't flinch away from what I am. You accepted it unquestioningly. I realized that you cared about me at least as much as I'd grown to care for you. You didn't want me around for any benefit or gain, you just… wanted me around.”

Loki went silent, apparently finished. He figured he should say something in reply, but he didn't know what. Seeing the god so open and vulnerable left his heart aching. “I still do. Want you around, I mean,” he forced out. “I'm not upset because you lied--well, not now. I was. I just don't want to lose you.”

“I'm not going anywhere, Tony.”

Tony bit at the inside of his lip. “You say that, but… “

“I don't want to lose you, either,” he clarified. “I want you to stay with me.” He frowned softly. “I want you to want to stay with me,” he corrected. “I don't plan to leave you unless you tell me to go.”

“What about Sigyn?” He asked quietly.

“I want her, too.”

Tony groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ok,” he said after taking a few deep breaths to calm himself back down. Loki wasn't trying to upset him, he was trying to be honest. “Ideally, what does that look like, in your mind? Having the both of us?”

Loki smiled, glad that Tony was trying to understand. “I put a lot of thought into that, last night,” he said. “And I understand if this idea doesn't appeal to you.” That introduction didn't exactly fill Tony with confidence.

“Well, if it doesn't, it'll at least give us something to work from,” he said.

Loki nodded. “Ideally,” he said slowly. He seemed very concerned about how Tony was going to react to this suggestion. “I’d really like, eventually,” he qualified, “for all three of us to be together?”

_ What? _ Tony blinked. Something Edwin Jarvis had told him years ago came back to him, _ “If you're facing down two awful scenarios, take a step back and look again. There's usually a third, more preferable, option.” _

He had apparently been silent for too long, given how anxious Loki was looking. “As I said, if you don't like the idea…”

Tony held a hand up. “I'm thinking. Give me a moment.”

Loki nodded, looking slightly relieved.

Polyamorous relationships were hardly unheard of. They also weren't something Tony had ever considered for himself. He was prone to jealousy--he didn't share--, and it wasn't like he had an easy time trusting others. But still, it sounded better than anything he'd come up with. 

After the last several days  _ anything _ approaching normalcy would be a balm. 

“I barely know Sigyn,” Tony finally pointed out.

“Er, well, I may have invited her to stay at the Tower until we are able to save Váli.”

_ Of course he did. _ Not that didn't make the most sense. She'd definitely turned the tide of battle and seemed to have been the only thing to affect Váli. Having her nearby could be vital. Tony sighed and finally laid back down, still facing Loki. “For the sake of argument, let's say that we get along perfectly.”

“I  _ do _ think you'll get along quite well.”

“Let me finish. What would  _ she _ think about that arrangement?”

“I don't know for certain. I had to ask one of you first, after all.”

Tony stared at the wall past Loki's shoulder. “So, at some point, assuming she and I actually get along, the three of us need to have a conversation, then?”

“At some point,” Loki said. 

He held Loki's gaze properly. “Loki, what you said last night. That seeing her brought up painful memories? Are _ you _ ok with her living here for--? Fuck, who knows how long this will take.”

Loki nodded. “While it may be difficult at times, it's still nice to have her near. I know Fenrir and Hel have also missed her a great deal.”

“Did she adopt them?”

“Unofficially.”

Tony nodded. “I have another question.”

“Just the one?” Loki teased.

“Ok, I probably have tons. But this one's kind of personal.”

He smiled, “What's on your mind?”

“I noticed Sigyn went out of her way to avoid masculine terms when referring to you.”

Loki nodded, “She does that.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “What I mean is, would you prefer if I did too?”

“Oh. I don't really have a preference.” He looked amused as he asked, “What have you been doing so far?”

“Er, mostly just going based on what you look like?”

“And that's fine, if that's what you're comfortable with. Sigyn is the only one who really avoids gendered terms with me.”

“So I can keep using he or she as appropriate?”

“I just said that was fine, Tony.”

“I wanted to be sure.” He explained. 

“May I ask you a question in return?”

“Sure. You can always ask me stuff.”

Loki's eyes shifted to his neck momentarily. “I understand if you no longer wish to wear it, but I'm curious. What did you do with the collar?”

Tony cleared his throat. “I, uh, broke it. Just the clasp, I think. And then threw it into the corner. I assume it's still here.” Honestly now he kind of regretted not just taking it off. But at the time breaking it had felt good, had felt right.

He hummed. “Would you like me to mend it?”

After a moment Tony scooted closer and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Loki's hand drifted up from between them and came to rest against the side of Tony's neck. Instinctively he shifted his head, baring as much of his throat to the god as he could. 

Loki's chuckle made him shiver. Followed by a wince as Loki pressed his thumb into the side of his neck. He yelped, trying to figure out why that would hurt so badly.

_ Right _ . Loki had bitten him. “Oh yeah,” he said, trying to sound as irritated as he could. “What the fuck have I said about using bodily fluids as lube?”

Loki was grinning at him. “You didn't complain yesterday.”

“You were holding me down and fucking my brains out, of course I didn't complain.” He scoffed. “Bodily fluids aren't meant to be used as a lubricant, Loki.”

“Some of them are. In fact, I can think of two off the top of my head that are  _ specifically _ designed to be used as sexual lubricant.”

Tony did his best to glare. “Is blood one of them?”

He shrugged, his grin not faltering, “No, but you have to admit it was effective.”

“I don't have to admit any such thing.”

Using the hand on his neck Loki pulled him closer until they were kissing. “And I, for one, found the whole thing very arousing.”

“Jesus fuck,” Tony groaned against his mouth. “Of course you'd get off on something like that.” Loki just hummed his agreement. “It's  _ not _ going to be a regular thing.” 

Loki pulled back, a look of unrepentant glee on his face. “Define regular,” he purred.

“If you push it, it'll be never.”

Loki didn't look phased by the threat and instead pulled him in for another kiss. 

“Loki?”

“Hmm?”

“Kinda need you to fuck me.”

He felt Loki smile before running his tongue across Tony's lips. “Need, huh?”

Tony ducked his head down, knowing it didn't do much to hide his face. At least he didn't have to look at Loki while he admitted, “I need to feel wanted.”

“I always want you,” Loki assured him. 

“I know, but--”

“Shhhh. I understand.” Fingers under his chin drew his face back up. “Do you want to get undressed your way, or mine?”

He'd been so drained last night he hasn't even bothered getting undressed. Yeesh. “Yours.” He didn't want to move away from the contact for that long. He shivered as his clothing vanished, he didn't think it was something he'd ever really get used to. But he also didn't mind it as much as he once did. 

Loki made a considering noise. “What to do with you?” He asked.

Tony felt exceptionally vulnerable under Loki's gaze. “Anything you want,” he said before immediately correcting with, “ _ Almost _ anything you want.”

“That still leaves so many options,” Loki said before giving his shoulder a shove and rolling him onto his back. Once he'd positioned himself between Tony's legs and was hovering over him, he said, “Between the two of us I bet we can think of all kinds of new and exciting things to do. I'm dealing with a bit of choice paralysis here.”

Tony couldn't help but roll his eyes. “How about we start with your fingers in me and work from there?”

Loki smirked as if Tony had made some sort of novel suggestion. Maybe he'd given Loki an idea? 

“Work from there, indeed,” Loki murmured. Tony gave him a questioning look but otherwise just let Loki position his legs out of the way. 

He groaned at the feeling of Loki's hand wrapping around his cock, bucking up into the touch. It took him a moment to realize that Loki’s hand wasn't moving, and he let out a frustrated whine.

“Aww, that's all I have to do to get a whine out of you? My have I spoiled you, Pet.” 

Tony huffed, catching on. He wasn't exactly in the best position for this, but it was well worth the effort to thrust up into Loki’s slick fist. It wasn't long before he was panting and his muscles burned from the awkward angle. He was pretty sure he was getting close, if he could just… but no. He whimpered as he collapsed back on the bed, taking in deep gasping breaths.

Loki's hand was smoothing over his stomach, “You're ok,” he said softly. “You did so well,  _ Hýrr _ , I'm so proud of you.”

He moaned at the praise, feeling very certain that if given a second chance he'd be successful that time.

But Loki didn't give him the chance, instead one of his long perfect fingers was circling his entrance, threatening to dip inside, but never actually entering him. 

“Loki,” he whined after he'd been teased for far too long.

“Yes, love? Want me inside you?”

“Yes!”

Loki was smirking again. “Do you want my fingers first, or should we just jump straight to my cock?”

Tony's breath caught and his eyes widened at just how much he loved the sound of that right then. Loki slowly thrusting into him, splitting him open, holding Tony down and forcing him to take it. Maybe even getting his wish of using Tony's blood as lube. He moaned at the imagery. 

Still, something pressed on the back of his mind and broke through the fog of his arousal. “Fingers,” he forced out, before he could change his mind.

As Loki's first finger slid inside him he hissed and jerked, in confusion as much as pain. Loki stilled instantly. “Tony?”

“Wha?” Tony managed, because there was no reason that should have hurt. He covered his eyes with his hand and laughed as his brain caught up. “I'm ok,” he said, letting his arm drop back to the side. “Just still sore from yesterday, is all.”

Loki looked less than convinced. “Should we do something else?”

Tony shook his head. “I don't want to do something else, I want you to fuck me.” He smirked and wiggled his hips, drawing Loki's finger further inside him. “Just be gentle. Pretend I'm a virgin or something.”

The god laughed and slowly slid his finger the rest of the way in. Tony closed his eyes. If just his finger burned like this, what exactly was he in for? 

After a few moments Loki started slowly pumping his finger in and out. “Good boy,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Tony's knee. “Ready for a second finger?”

Honestly Tony wasn't sure. “I don't know,” he admitted. Then he got an idea, and did his best to school his face into one of mild anxiety. “Will it hurt?” He asked softly.

That earned him a slightly strangled noise from Loki's throat. He gave him a confused stare until Tony arched an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, Norns,” he muttered. “It might, a little,” he said in a surprisingly soothing voice. “But I promise that once you get used to it, it'll feel really good.”

Loki's finger twisted and brushed against that wonderful bundle of nerves and there was no way in hell he'd be able to keep that game up for long. “If you promise, then ok.” He said, making his voice tremble.

The effect was immediately lost when Tony shouted, “Fuck!” as Loki nudged a second finger in to join the first. They locked eyes and this time Loki didn't stop moving until both fingers were fully seated. 

“You know I can heal you-”

Tony shook his head frantically. “Nope. Green. I'm ok. I like it.”

Loki gave Tony's cock a quick squeeze with his other hand. “You do, don't you?” He pulled his fingers almost all the way out before pushing back in. “Tell me why.”

Tony whined, “You know why.”

“I never get tired of hearing you say it, though.” All things considered, Loki was still doing his best to as gentle as possible, with his slow careful movements. 

When Tony didn't reply Loki pulled his fingers all the way out. He tensed, he definitely couldn't handle Loki's cock just yet. “Loki, wait, not yet.”

“I know, Pet. I'm just waiting for you to do as I said, and tell me why you like it when I hurt you.”

He relaxed immediately. “I like it because it gives me a chance to just  _ feel _ .” He swallowed as three of Loki's fingers pressed against him. “I don't have to make any hard decisions, I can just trust that you'll take care of-” He was cut off by his own keen as Loki's fingers kept up a steady pressure until they pushed inside. “Take care of me,” he finished.

Loki hummed, “So far I'm hearing a lot of why you like me taking control, but not anything about why you like it when I hurt you.”

Tony shuddered when Loki's fingers finally stilled. “Um,” he started. “Because it feels good?” He offered.

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you! It feels good when it's you. Feels great. I could probably cum from you cutting me or hitting me or any other number of things.”

Loki groaned, “Please tell me we can test that sometime soon?” 

“Fuck yes.”

“Anything else you want to add before I fuck you?”

“It makes me feel owned, and loved.”

“Fuck, you're perfect,” Loki whispered, pulling his fingers free. “You ready?”

“What if I said no?” Tony grinned.

“I might actually cry.”

“Well, we can't have that. Pretty sure that's my job.”

Loki fucking choked on whatever he'd been about to say, and lined himself up. Tony's fingers dug into the sheets and he focused on breathing and trying to stay relaxed as Loki pushed in. 

He cried out at a particularly sharp pain, and heard Loki whimper. He didn't quit moving, though, so Tony assumed the god was alright. 

Eventually, and far too slowly for either of their tastes, really, Tony could feel Loki's hips against him. “Have I ever mentioned how hot you feel wrapped around my dick?”

Tony chuckled, “Not that I recall.”

“You're like a perfect inferno, made just for me.”

“Aww, that's both sweet and ridiculous.” Tony gasped in the change in position as Loki curled over him until their lips were touching and they were sharing the same air. He couldn't exactly call it a kiss, but that was fine.

“Fucking move,” he whined.

Loki was happy to oblige with gentle shallow thrusts that kept constant pressure on his prostate. 

“Tease,” Tony complained.

“Don't want to hurt you too much, yet,” Loki whispered into his mouth. “We've got plenty of time and nowhere to be.”

Tony was pretty sure that wasn't quite true, but he wasn't going to complain as Loki grabbed his hip and started fucking into him in earnest. It hurt and was too much, and somehow not enough, and he loved every second of it. 

“Besides,” Loki hissed, his thrusts becoming more erratic, “I haven't even made you cry yet.” He growled as he came, and that was all it took to send Tony over the edge as well. 

Tony whined and hooked a leg around Loki when he tried to pull out. “Stay.”

Loki huffed, “You're not allowed to bitch later,” he warned.

“I'm definitely going to bitch later,” Tony said with a lazy smile. 

He rolled his eyes but settled back down. “Are you alright?” He asked softly.

“Mmhmm.”

“Does anything hurt?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Good hurt?”

“Mostly.”

Loki sighed, “Mostly?”

“That's a problem for future me,” Tony insisted. 

Loki gave him a fond smile before curling over him again and claiming his mouth. The licked and nipped at each other until Tony tasted blood. 

They shared low groans, Tony's in discomfort and Loki's in pleasure as his cock started filling.

“How?” Tony grumbled.

“Sorry?”

“No you're not.”

Loki chuckled, “No, I'm not.” He gave an experimental roll of his hips that made Tony flinch. 

He was far too tender and sensitive for that to feel good. Tony shook his head frantically.

“No?” Loki asked. “Are you sure?”

“Too much.”

Loki hummed and rolled his hips again, making Tony whimper. “I have an idea, and I think you might like it.”

Tony forced himself to look up, to show he was paying attention.

“Good boy,” Loki cooed, wrapping his fist around Tony's limp cock. “How would you like to revisit an old experiment?”

Tony swore as Loki gave him a few rough tugs. “What experiment?”

“I’d like to measure just how long it takes you to get hard again.”

He tried to look properly frustrated, “That was hardly an experiment.”

“Oh, but it will be this time. JARVIS?”

JARVIS took a few moments to respond, as his protocols dictated that his surveillance of a room sound be at the bare minimum when sexual activity was occurring. “Yes, Sir?”

“How good are you at monitoring vital signs?”

“Excellent, Sir.”

“In here?”

“Without appropriate peripheral equipment my abilities are more limited. What are you wanting me to monitor?”

“Hmm. Pulse, temperature, breaths per minute. Things like that?”

“Pulse would be quite difficult, but I believe I can handle a close estimate of body temperature and breath rate.”

Tony gaped up at him as Loki grinned. “Excellent. What do you think of my idea, Pet?”

“'Kay.” Because how could Tony  _ not _ agree to such a fantastic plan. And why had he never thought of doing something like this?

“So, JARVIS, I'm going to fuck Tony with the goal of seeing how long it takes him to bounce back from his refractory period. If you could monitor the passage of time, and his pulse and breathing, I would appreciate it.”

“Very good, Sir. When shall I begin the timer?”

“Now,” Loki said. He started slowly rocking his hips and stroking Tony.

Tony shuddered and whined, both wanting to escape the sensation and wanting to hold still. He wanted to be good, but every movement was  _ too much _ and he was quickly overwhelmed. He was dimly aware he might be crying.

He wailed and thrashed as Loki's dick brushed against that bundle of nerves inside him. He felt Loki's free hand grabbing his hip to hold him still as he repeated the action.

“Yellow!” Tony gasped out. 

Loki's hands released him and he pulled back enough to relieve the stimulation a bit. Tony closed his eyes and drew in great gulps of air, not sure when he'd stopped breathing properly.

When he opened his eyes again Loki looked anxious and worried. 

“It's ok,” Tony panted. “Needed a second.”

“What was wrong?” Loki asked, all teasing gone from his voice.

“You, uh, hit my prostate,” Tony explained. “You can keep your dick in me, but maybe don't move?”

Loki looked uncertain, “You want to keep going?”

“Only if you do,” Tony smiled.

Loki nodded, settling back between Tony's legs and adjusting his position. “Good?”

Tony considered. Feeling Loki so deep inside him was still uncomfortable, but not really unpleasant. “Yeah, that's good.”

He groaned as Loki's hand fisted around his dick. His strokes started off slow and careful but he quickly returned to his usual confidence. After what he'd felt a few minutes ago this was considerably more manageable. He closed his eyes and let himself relax into the sensation that was just shy of painful. Seeing Loki so cautious after he'd used his safeword made him feel warm and safe.

Tony gasped as the sensation  _ finally _ shifted and blood rushed to his cock. He opened his eyes to see Loki grinning at him. 

“Time, JARVIS?”

“16 minutes, and 18.03 seconds.”

Loki hummed and ground into him. “Think we could beat 15 minutes next time?”

“Maybe?” Tony panted as Loki started jerking him off properly. “Move,” he whined, clenching down around Loki’s cock.

The god swore and immediately set a punishing pace, his fingernails digging possessively into Tony's side.

It felt like barely a minute passed before Loki’s cock was twitching with his orgasm. Even as his hips stilled kept working Tony until he was a writhing, gasping mess.

And then his hand stopped and his gripped loosened. Tony blinked up in confusion at Loki's decidedly evil smirk. “Why?” He trailed off. It took another moment for his brain to piece things together. “Oh, fuck you,” he complained.

“Come now, you're so close. Don't you want to try again?” At Tony's pout he sighed and continued. “I suppose it's my fault for expecting so much of you. I understand, if this is beyond your capabilities--”

Tony jerked his hips up, awkwardly thrusting against Loki's hand. This, Tony decided, was going to be the most well-earned orgasm of his fucking life. Everything was sore and his movements meant he kept shifting Loki's cock inside him, and the drag felt good but wasn't nearly enough.

“Fuck, please Loki, I'm so close,” he begged, “I  _ can't _ .”

“Of course you can, Pet. You're doing so well. Just a little more, that's all I ask.”

Tony moaned at the soft praise and the force of his orgasm was punch to the gut. He might have passed out, he wasn't sure, but when he came back to himself he was curled up on his side. Loki had cleaned them up and he could feel the warmth of his healing magic working its way from Loki's hand on his chest through his body, healing strained muscles and the inconsequential bruises he'd sustained during the fight yesterday. The magic stayed around his ass for long enough that he wondered if it might be a cause for concern but he was too floaty to give it much thought. 

When he felt the magic leave him he tilted his head up to give Loki a lazy kiss and was surprised by the twinge in his neck. 

Loki returned his confused expression with a smirk. “You broke the collar I made, so I needed to leave  _ something _ to mark you as mine until I get the chance to mend it.”

Tony nodded at the explanation and they shared several slow tender kisses as the focused on just enjoying each other's company.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [@Wolfloner-Official](https://wolfloner-official.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter: [@Wolfloner1990](https://twitter.com/Wolfloner1990)  
> Discord: Wolfloner#9177  
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> HMU if you wanna chat or w/e. :)


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